Saying Goodbye

Jason and Danielle will be here today! Hooray! They made their first flight out of Albuquerque, which was delayed by about 30 minutes, leaving them with just over half an hour to get to their next plane in Dallas, which will take them to London. At this very moment, they are probably somewhere over the Atlantic!

Itchy on the day Jason and I got engaged. 

I will be so relieved to see Jason. Yesterday morning, before the flight, Jason, ever unexpectedly, had to put down my dog, Itchy. I somehow convinced my mother to let me get another dog when I was 15, but she insisted the dog be an adult, so I chose 3 year old Itzla. My mom couldn't remember how to pronounce it, so she became Itchy, and was my partner in crime ever since. Nearly a decade wasn't enough with her, and I'm so sad I couldn't be there when she passed on, but Jason was, and I hope she knew I'd have been there if I could. She has been with me through many major ups and downs, and I am sad that I was not there for her final send off. 

Over the last month, every time I talked to Jason via video chat, I'd ask him how Itchy was doing, and until the night before last, she was as happy as always. The veterinarians think it was either arthritis or a slipped disk, but Itchy wasn't able to use her back legs anymore and Jason was having to carry her everywhere. On one hand, I'm happy that she was so happy and healthy until the very end, but I'm also so sad that I couldn't be there for her, because she's always been there for me. 

Needless to say, but I was a mess all of yesterday. I'm still a mess today, but I'm beginning to be okay with the idea that she is gone. I cried so much I had no tears left, and my eyes still hurt. Jason told me ahead of time that she needed to be put down, and he video called me afterward so I could see her and say goodbye. That was the hardest. After that, I was crying by myself when I noticed the door to our room open about a foot on it's own, and it felt like Itchy was here with me. I could almost feel her head on my shoulder while I laid curled up in a ball, and after a few minutes, which felt like goodbye, the feeling was gone. I really feel like she found me before she left so she and I could say goodbye on our own before she was gone forever. She was always a good girl. My father picked her body up from the vet clinic and buried her on the 'hill' where all of our beloved animals get to rest. She is up there with others, but she will always be my dog. My dog. I've had dogs since I would walk, but she will always and forever be my dog. And I miss her so much.

Itchy's final resting place on my dad's property in Edgewood, NM.